“Legitimate rape” is great birth control.

So says Todd Akin, and he oughta know.

If we are raped we can rest unafraid,

‘Cause we can’t get pregnant if forcibly laid.

Our female bodies are clever that way,

We only get pregnant when we say “okay.”

Doctors have told him, so it must be so,

The stork only comes if we don’t say “No!”

Rape won’t make babies and that is a fact;

There’s no global warming; the Earth’s really flat.

We heard it on FOX News so it must be true.

Well, Mr. Akin, we say “FUCK YOU!”