BARABA
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00:59 28.02.04 |
    
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בדיחות יהודיות
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JEWISH MOTHER'S ANSWERING MACHINE
If you want chicken soup, press "1".
If you want matzo balls with the soup, press "2".
If you want varnishkas, dial "3".
If you want knishes press "4".
If you want to know how am I feeling, you are calling the wrong number, since nobody ever asks me how I am feeling...............
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LAST WISHES
A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests.
She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered all over the shopping mall. "Why the shopping mall?" asked the rabbi. The woman replied, "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
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NO PRESSURE!
A man is laying on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, the surgeon. The father says, "Son, think of it this way... If anything happens to me, your mother is coming to live with you."
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MRS. GOLDBERG
Mrs. Goldberg, age 75, went to see a gynecologist for the first time in her life. She was asked to step behind a screen and remove her clothes so the doctor could examine her. At some point during the examination, Mrs. Goldberg said, "Excuse me, doctor, can I ask you a question?" "Certainly," the doctor replied. "Tell me," she said. "Your mother knows that from this, you make a living?"
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PHILANTHROPY
A visitor to Israel attended a recital and concert at the Moscovitz Auditorium. He was quite impressed with the architecture and the acoustics. He inquired of the tour guide, "Is this magnificent auditorium named after Chaim Moscovitz, the famous Talmudic scholar?"
"No," replied the guide. "It is named after Sam Moscovitz, the writer."
"Never heard of him, what did he write?"
"A check", replied the guide.
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SAY AGAIN?
A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men. Excited to prove to his wife his long-held contention that women in general (and his wife in particular) talked too much, he showed her the study results, which stated: "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000..."
His wife thought a while and then, finally she said to her husband, "That's because WE have to REPEAT EVERYTHING WE SAY!!!"
The husband said, "WHAT.....?"
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שתף
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מכתב זה והנלווה אליו, על אחריות ועל דעת הכותב בלבד
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גירסת הדפסה
סגן המנהל
מפקח
Winner
צל"ש
מומחה
